Reading the synopsis alone for Topics of Conversation evokes a powerful set of emotions. Take a look: “Miranda Popkey writes of desire, disgust, motherhood, loneliness, art, pain, feminism, anger, envy, and guilt … composed almost exclusively of conversations between women—the stories they tell each other, and the stories they tell themselves, about shame and love, infidelity and self-sabotage …” Stunning, right?
This novel opens with an unnamed female narrator in Italy. The year is 2000, she has just completed her undergraduate program in English and after the summer, she will begin a graduate program studying the same. In the meantime, however, she enjoys reading the journals of Sylvia Plath and discussing affairs with older professors alongside the mother of the children she babysits. If that doesn’t set a mood, then what does?
Popkey’s story then unfolds across two decades, each chapter a different time and place, a different life experience, a different conversation. Throughout these scenes, the narrator winds her way through life in a way which rings true to the female experience while also commenting on the inherent struggles. She goes to graduate school, moving out into the world in an attempt to define her life beyond. She navigates a marriage which turns into a sense of being trapped, feeling lost in her own life. She shares friendships that come and go, infatuations with the lives of others. And she attempts to bond with her mother, as well as with other mothers, while still desperately trying to maintain her own sense of self. Or even figure out what that might be.
Topics of Conversation is not just about these vignettes, though—it is also about the type of people who live within them. Many themes thread their way throughout and identity is arguably the foundation of this text. Popkey deftly explores the way women learn to “be” in the world. The way expectations are both overtly and subtly modelled by others. The way one blindly picks up on these influences and, in turn, models them in their own life, denies them, or fights against them.
Popkey also speaks broadly to patterns of intimacy and control in romantic and sexual relationships. Most strikingly on display are the traditional power dynamics and ways in which men attempt to “keep” their women: through jealousy, envy, fathering them, promising them the world, and retracting such promises. She exposes the masculine desire for control which springs not from their power, but from the lack thereof. She confronts the standard constructs of women being raised to believe they shouldn’t desire or enjoy sex. And what it means, how others react, if they do. The concept of women being judged with a double-standard, judged for doing the same things men have always done, is not new after all.
What is perhaps most interesting, though, is how Popkey then turns this idea on its head and speaks to that which often goes unspoken: The uncontrollable desire to be controlled. The relief of not having to make decisions for oneself. And the guilt, the shame, in having such desires. The reader is exposed to the results of both accepting and challenging the traditional power dynamic. How self-esteem (or the lack thereof) and the innate desire for approval drive one’s actions and choices. The narrator very directly describes herself as a “monster”—she feels anger and disgust toward herself, feels unlovable. In many ways this connects back to the issue of control, as she takes comfort in being told what to do, does not easily embrace kindness, and often does not appear comfortable with being treated well.
Throughout the novel the narrator always appears to be thinking of the “better” story, imagining how she might make her life more exciting. Feeling like she is missing something, wanting more. Maybe the narrator would have made different choices, in hindsight, as many would. It may be that she regrets the many points where she could have done something different, but did not. Perhaps this comes from a discomfort in our society with women actually expressing what they want. The same rules do not necessarily apply, however, within same sex relationships and Popkey also explores this intimacy. Not a sexual intimacy, although there is an underlying current of the erotic in some of these platonic relationships, but rather the intimacy created by sharing secrets, building a bond, and understanding one another through shared experiences.
The honesty and depth of the narrator’s story speaks broadly to the female experience, particularly expected gender roles and preconceived notions of sex and relationships. With a candor seldom seen, Topics of Conversation explores how these “norms” are internalized and challenges them in ways both subtle and overt, serious and exaggerated. Miranda Popkey has a voice that is witty and biting—you won’t want to miss this debut. It may just be one of my favourite releases for 2020!
Topics of Conversation is available from Amazon, Book Depository, and other good book retailers as of January 7th 2020. Many thanks to Knopf for gifting me this galley. All thoughts and opinions expressed here are entirely my own.
Miranda Popkey graduated with a BA in Humanities from Yale and a MFA in Creative Writing from Washington University in St. Louis. Although Topics of Conversation is her debut novel, she has written for numerous well-known publications including The New Republic, The New Yorker’s Page-Turner blog, the Paris Review Daily, GQ, and New York Magazine’s The Cut.
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Synopsis | Goodreads
For readers of Rachel Cusk, Lydia Davis, and Jenny Offill–a compact tour de force about sex, violence, and self-loathing from a ferociously talented new voice in fiction
Miranda Popkey’s first novel is about desire, disgust, motherhood, loneliness, art, pain, feminism, anger, envy, guilt–written in language that sizzles with intelligence and eroticism. The novel is composed almost exclusively of conversations between women–the stories they tell each other, and the stories they tell themselves, about shame and love, infidelity and self-sabotage–and careens through twenty years in the life of an unnamed narrator hungry for experience and bent on upending her life. Edgy, wry, shot through with rage and despair, Topics of Conversation introduces an audacious and immensely gifted new novelist.
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