“Sometimes the one who left you in pieces comes back. Sometimes they’re different and other times, they’re the same as before, but what’s important is what you make of their return. Sometimes, you just ain’t ready. Ready to heal. Ready to forgive. Ready to move forward. And that’s okay.”
The Things We Couldn’t Say proved to be a powerful tale of loss and abandonment. Gio is a Black teen whose mother abandoned his family years ago, and deals with a religious father who doesn’t accept his bisexuality and thinks he can pray it away, and has to take care of his younger brother. When his mother unexpectedly turns up wanting to make up for the years of abandonment, Gio is put through the ringer.
Gio was an interesting character. Gio is secure in his identity and knows that he is bisexual even though his religious father doesn’t accept it. I love how representation of queer characters is expanding because it was great to see a young teen already knowing who he is and not letting anyone interfere with that, hard as they may try. There’s also a bit of a romance in this book that made me smile because it takes Gio quite a while to warm up to David, who’s basically a cinnamon roll and just wants to fit in. Beyond that, Gio has an amazing support system, from his stepmother to his friends who are always there for him and put him first. There are a few side plots with the kids from his community and his friends’ dating lives that also enriched the story.
The main focus, however, is the absence and reappearance of Gio’s mother and that’s where Coles’ writing absolutely shined. I loved how we slowly got to see all the ways in which Jackie, Gio’s mother, altered Gio’s life without even knowing it. Gio longs for his mother’s love while also resenting her for leaving him and that is thematised beautifully here. Coles expertly showcases the grey zone when it comes to loving people who abandon you, the paradox of wanting them back in your life while also refusing them a spot in your heart for fear of them leaving you behind once more. Though Gio eventually learns the reasons for Jackie leaving, the very valid hurt he feels remains and I loved how unflinchingly this was portrayed. Every interaction between Jackie and Gio left my heart feeling squished like a pulp, yet every supportive moment between Gio and his friends, his brother or his stepmother felt like soothing old wounds. Coles balances the pain with the happiness of Gio’s life and for anyone who’s ever lost someone who left them somewhat willingly, I think this book will make you feel all the feels.
That being said, there is an overwhelming amount of pop culture references in Things We Couldn’t Say and if that’s not your vibe, you’re probably going to have a hard time reading this. I generally enjoy them, but some of the references to music artists and movies (and the opinions the characters have) can be quite isolating. As an example, the reference that Taylor Swift “had some good songs before she went crazy” left me reeling because I can’t believe it’s 2021 and people still perpetuate the “crazy” narrative about women especially ones that continue to be vilified in the media because of throw-away sentences like that. If these social commentaries had some kind of impact on the characters, I could deal but most of the time comments like the one above are thrown in and never picked up on again which felt like a bit of a cop-out. A lot of the scenes surrounding pop culture references, like when Gio and his friends try to decide on a movie for pages on end which culminates in Gio not even watching the movie, might have made more sense if it had given a bit more insight into the secondary characters, since I would have loved a better grip on their personalities beyond their likes and dislikes in music and movies. But that’s a personal preference.
All in all, The Things We Couldn’t Say is an empathetic and intricate exploration of the consequences of a mother abandoning her child. Paired with a sweet romance, heaps of pop culture references and a reminder to be yourself, this book will enrichen your TBR for sure!
The Things We Couldn’t Say is available from Amazon, Book Depository, and other good book retailers, like your local bookstore, as of September 21st 2021.
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Synopsis | Goodreads
From one of the brightest and most acclaimed new lights in YA fiction, a fantastic new novel about a bi Black boy finding first love . . . and facing the return of the mother who abandoned his preacher family when he was nine.
There’s always been a hole in Gio’s life. Not because he’s into both guys and girls. Not because his father has some drinking issues. Not because his friends are always bringing him their drama. No, the hole in Gio’s life takes the shape of his birth mom, who left Gio, his brother, and his father when Gio was nine years old. For eight years, he never heard a word from her . . . and now, just as he’s started to get his life together, she’s back.
It’s hard for Gio to know what to do. Can he forgive her like she wants to be forgiven? Or should he tell her she lost her chance to be in his life? Complicating things further, Gio’s started to hang out with David, a new guy on the basketball team. Are they friends? More than friends? At first, Gio’s not sure . . . especially because he’s not sure what he wants from anyone right now.
There are no easy answers to love — whether it’s family love or friend love or romantic love. In Things We Couldn’t Say, Jay Coles, acclaimed author of Tyler Johnson Was Here, shows us a guy trying to navigate love in all its ambiguity — hoping at the other end he’ll be able to figure out who is and who he should be.
