Last week, the question we were asked to ponder was ‘what if Peggy Carter received the super soldier serum instead of Steve Rogers?’ This week, it’s ‘what if T’Challa became Star Lord instead of Peter Quill?’
SPOILERS AHEAD
After the Marvel logo and opening credits (which don’t appear to change with the subject of the episode), The Watcher introduces the episode’s deeper theme: “in a multiverse of infinite possibility, is your destiny determined by your nature or the nature of your world?” Nature vs nurture basically, which echoes the Guardians films, where part of Peter Quill Star Lord’s journey is whether he’s defined by his biological lineage or whether he’s capable of redefining himself with the family he chooses.
We begin on Morag, the planet where the Orb containing the Power Stone resides. Like in the first Guardians film, Star Lord goes to steal it and is interrupted by enforcers for the Kree warlord Ronan the Accuser (who is Sir not appearing in this show) led Korath the Pursuer (Djimon Hounsou). This Star Lord reveals himself to be T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) rather than Peter Quill and elicits the reaction from Korath that Quill wanted, as he immediately starts fanboying and will continue to do so for the rest of the episode (Korath is definitely this episode’s Howard Stark in terms of comic relief). He’s not even angry when T’Challa tricks him into shocking himself unconscious by punching the Orb’s forcefield, merely having another fanboy moment—“Classic Star Lord!”—before collapsing with a smile on his face. He must have impressed or endeared himself because T’Challa decides to take him along, remarking that he’s “hired worse.” The rest of Ronan’s soldiers aren’t such big fans however, and they have him surrounded. But, as T’Challa says, “a Ravager never flies solo”, and Yondu (Michael Rooker) knocks them all out with his Yaka arrow. He comments on how, in the old days, they would’ve sold the Orb to the highest bidder, rather than use it to save a system by jump starting a dying star, to which T’Challa points out that if they made like the old days Yondu would only have half of his teeth and that “no treasure is worth as much as the good that can be done with it.” To which Yondu merely says “that’s my boy.”
They fly away in their ship, now named the ‘Mandela’ instead of the ‘Milano’, and the Watcher shows us how T’Challa came to be in space. We then flashback to twenty years earlier in 1988 and see a young T’Challa (Maddix Robinson) in the throne room of the palace of Wakanda with his father King T’Chaka (John Kani). T’Challa is tired of “living in a bubble” and thinks that there must be more out there if they’re brave enough to look for it. His father understands his son’s restlessness, that though the blood of kings runs through his veins it’s “pumped by the heart of an explorer”, but tells him that, as someone who has seen the wider world, all he would find would be destruction and pain.
Regardless, that night T’Challa sneaks outside the Wakanda barrier, and is promptly abducted by the Ravagers. Turns out, in this universe, Yondu outsourced the job of finding & abducting Peter Quill to Kraglin (Sean Gunn) and Taserface (Chris Sullivan), who think all humans look the same. Yondu is not amused that they’ve taken the wrong kid but Kraglin argues that the cosmic readings—what they’d be using to track the child of a Celestial—from where they took T’Challa were off the charts, and T’Challa helpfully points out that this is because his home is built on top of a Vibranium meteorite. Yondu expresses surprise and interest that T’Challa doesn’t seem to freaked out by the situation and asks what he was doing out there all be himself. T’Challa answers “exploring the world”, to which Yondu says why stop at exploring one world when they can show him all of them?
Back in the present, the Ravagers arrive on Contraxia, the snow covered planet from Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2, but, unlike in that film, instead of hanging out in the scuzzy establishments at street level, they enter a much classier establishment. They reminisce about past heists (Korath fitting right in as if he’s always been there) and it transpires that, thanks to T’Challa’s altruistic influence, the Ravagers are no longer mercenaries for hire but rather intergalactic Robin Hoods (who, like he did with Mary Poppins, Yondu later misname-checks) which has made them better people and the galaxy a better place.
T’Challa even managed to convince Thanos (Josh Brolin) into abandoning his plan to decimate half the population of the universe. As he says, “sometimes the best weapon in your arsenal is just a good argument”, and since he comes from a culture that is untouched by imperialistic and has learned to settle disputes and share resources between its tribes, he’s certainly well placed to have a convincing argument for better ways of resource allocation—and recruit him to their side. Though, amusingly, he does still try to point out that his original plan had some merits; genocide has now become the boring political argument that that one relative wheels out every Christmas. I could comment on this but as Digital Spy do a much better job, I’ll let them do it for me: “It’s funny then to think that in another reality, Star-Lord was the one who saved the universe from Thanos and they don’t even know it, because the Mad Titan is now too busy being a loveable himbo.”
We get an amusing moment with Drax (Fred Tatasciore—whose performance is so good that if you didn’t already know it wasn’t Dave Bautista you’d swear it was) who’s now a bartender after T’Challa saved his planet—and consequently his wife and daughter, the reason behind his quest for revenge in the original films—from being invaded by the Kree. Then Nebula (Karen Gillan) arrives, whole and mostly unscarred—presumably not having been subjected to the years of torture and abuse from Thanos—with a full head of blonde hair, looking every inch the attractive Femme Fatale. They greet each other warmly, Nebula even referring to him by the pet name of “Cha-Cha” (I suspect there will now be many people shipping them). The relationship between her and father still seems strained however, and though T’Challa encourages her to talk with him, mentioning that he’s changed to point where he’s taken up gardening (as he did after the snap in the original timeline), Nebula replies that people may change but that the past doesn’t, pointing out that T’Challa still wears his past—his Wakandan necklace—around his neck. We then learn why T’Challa never went back: apparently, Yondu did attempt to return him to Wakanda when he was younger but it had been destroyed in another of humanity’s senseless wars. He lost his home and so now he saves everyone else’s. Nebula then says she has a job for him.
We cut back to the Ravagers’ ship. The job turns out to be to steal something called the ‘Embers of Genesis’, nutrient rich cosmic dust from an ancient supernova. With just an ounce you can heal a dying planet in minutes, so with the size of the payload they’re after they could effectively eradicate hunger across the galaxy. (“Don’t tell Captain Genocide.”) Unfortunately, the person who they’d be stealing them from is Taneleer Tivan, AKA The Collector (Benicio del Toro) who, in this universe, has not only been hitting the protein shakes but is now, the most ruthless kingpin in the galactic underworld, seeing an opportunity to fill the power vacuum left by Thanos after he went straight. Yondu is not happy, seeing it as a suicide mission that he refuses to sanction.
He and T’Challa have a talk elsewhere on the ship. Yondu remarks that T’Challa may be the soul of the group but that is still the captain but T’Challa argues that Ravagers don’t back down from a fight, comparing what they’ve been doing so far to picking pockets for loose coins and that, if they really want to change the galaxy, it’s time they robbed the bank. Yondu admits that he’s never been any good at saying ‘no’ to him.
So we go into the planning of the heist, intercutting between the planning and it being carried out. They deduce that the Embers will be housed with the rest of his conquests, in his Museum/base of operations in the mining colony in the severed head of the Celestial Knowhere. To get past the Black Order, who are in charge of security (proving that just because the boss goes straight doesn’t mean the henchman will), Nebula and Yondu pose as sellers, smuggling T’Challa in, while, at the same time, the Ravagers will cause a distraction by starting a riot outside (Thanos has a little fun with Korath as his payback for the latter’s earlier “Captain Genocide” comment). This succeeds in drawing Proxima Midnight (Carrie Coon), Corvus Glaive (Fred Tatasciore) and Cull Obsidian away before the security scan can be completed, allowing T’Challa to slip out and search the collection.
Said collection is vast however, and as he passes Cosmo the space dog and a Dark Elf, T’Challa wonders what the point of all this suffering is and voice answers: “my guess, he’s compensating for something big. Or small, if you catch my drift.” Yes, Howard the Duck (Seth Green) just insinuated that the Collector’s collection is his way of compensating for a small penis. T’Challa asks him if he knows where he can find the Embers of Genesis and Howard gives him directions that are essentially a laundry list of MCU references, to the point where T’Challa decides it’s easier to just say “screw it”, bust Howard out and ask him for the tour.
Outside, Proxima Midnight breaks up the fight but, seeing that it’s the Ravagers, realises it’s a diversion and sounds the alarm. The building begins to lock down and T’Challa and Howard are separated when Howard stops for a drink. T’Challa runs into what appears to be The Collector’s garage, when his vibranium necklace begins to glow and resonate with something. That something turns out to be a Wakandan space craft— Wakanda was already a technologically advanced society but has obviously got to the point where they’ve mastered space travel in the intervening years. Inside the space craft are some mannequins wearing Dora Milaje uniforms (which doesn’t look good for what or who might’ve been wearing those uniforms) and a message from his father, revealing that his family have been searching for him all this time (it’s also here we get the first of several uses of the Black Panther score). T’Challa is obviously not happy with the revelation that Yondu lied to him, but, before he can do anything, Nebula enters, appearing to betray him by holding him at gunpoint and revealing that she had a debt with the collector and he was the payment.
Corvus Glaive throws T’Challa and Yondu into the cell with the other Ravagers, and we get the somewhat obligatory third-act conflict as T’Challa angrily confronts Yondu about why he lied to him and Yondu claims that he was doing it to protect him, that “sometimes you need to hear a lie to see the truth”, that he’s an explorer, just like them, and the past, for people like them, is nothing but a prison. He tells him that he doesn’t belong down there but with them, his family. To which T’Challa responds “you are not my family. You never were.” Korath says what everybody is thinking: “damn, that hurts.” Glaive then returns to take T’Challa to the Collector, knocking him out.
When T’Challa awakes, he finds himself in one of the Collector’s exhibit cages. He tells the Collector that, where he comes from, history doesn’t look too kindly on people who put other people in cages, which seems to touch a chord with the Collector’s servant Carina (Ophelia Lovibond). Disappointed that T’Challa doesn’t have any superpowers, the Collector hands him over to Ebony Maw (Tom Vaughan-Lawlor) for dissection.
Meanwhile, back in the Ravagers’ cell, Nebula returns with Corvus Glaive. Korath yells at her for betraying them, only for her to turn around and shoot Glaive. She reveals that this was the plan from the beginning: a ruse to settle her debt with the Collector and steal the Embers of Genesis from under his nose. It was T’Challa’s idea to keep the Ravagers in the dark because he knew Yondu would never let him walk into a trap. She then says that T’Challa is keeping his escape plan “close to his chest.”
What she means is T’Challa’s vibranium necklace, which he uses to smash the glass. He escapes and goes for Ebony Maw, who manages to telekinetically restrain him, but is saved by Carina, who shoots Maw in the back. She liked that thing he said “about not locking people in cages.” T’Challa thanks her and says he owes her a debt. The alarm sounds as both T’Challa and the Ravagers escape, and T’Challa runs straight into the collector. Or rather, he runs straight into the Collector’s fist, which is covered in a rocky gauntlet that the Collector claims to have hacked off of the “carcass of a terribly chatty Kronan.” And, of course, he has plenty of other weapons to play with: Malekith’s dagger, Captain America’s shield, Mjolnir, and—what the Collector finally chooses—Hela’s helmet, which allows him to conjure and wield her necroswords (considering where we are in the MCU timeline, does it make sense for him to have these? No, of course not but just go with it), with which he manages to pin T’Challa down.
Meanwhile, Nebula and the Ravagers (minus Yondu, you’ll notice) are being pursued by the rest of the Black Order as they try to escape. After saving Nebula from Proxima Midnight, Thanos tells everyone to get to the ship, while he stays behind and holds them off. Nebula tells him he’s crazy as he’ll never do it by himself, to which Thanos replies he’s not crazy, just “mad”, giving us a teeny tiny glimpse of the Mad Titan of old. He does a good job, until Cull Obsidian and Proxima tag-team him, and—back at the Ravagers’ ship—Nebula hears his scream.
Back with T’Challa and the Collector, the latter taunts the former about he abandoned his home and family only for his new family to now abandon him (“karma”). But T’Challa reminds him that a Ravager never flies solo and Yondu has a ‘Big Damn Heroes’ moment, his arrow shooting Hela’s helmet of the Collector’s head and smashing it, saying that “Ain’t no way in hell I was going to leave here without my kid.”
Proxima Midnight and Cull Obsidian have Thanos on the ropes, but before Proxima can deliver the final blow, she’s shot down by Nebula. She gets Cull Obsidian by making him swallow a tiny amount of the Embers of Genesis, causing plant matter to erupt out of him, and Thanos and Nebula run as it starts to take over. They just make it back to the ship (with the help of an epic jump) and fly off.
The Collector proves to be a match physically for both Yondu and T’Challa, so they need to try something else. Time for “sticky fingers.” Yondu goes for the Collector again but seemingly gets his lights punched out. T’Challa readies his jet boots and the Collector finds that Yondu has stolen his gauntlet control, which he uses to open an empty cage behind him, allowing T’Challa to use his jet boots to kick him, providing enough force to knock the Collector into the cage, so he ends up exactly where he (or his illusion at any rate) ended up in Infinity War. The Collector claims that this will not contain him, and that there’s no where in the galaxy they can go that’s beyond his grasp, but Yondu and T’Challa are unimpressed. T’Challa gives the gauntlet control to Carina whom he trusts will know what to do with it, to which she replies that she has “some ideas.” She then takes great relish in ignoring the Collectors commands and freeing the rest of his collection before opening his cage. As his former prisoners advance upon and surround him, The Collector sums things up pretty well: “oh, karma.”
T’Challa and Yondu escape in the Wakandan spaceship, as the Embers of Genesis turns Knowhere into a giant Chia Pet in space. T’Challa contacts Nebula, who reveals that they all got out OK and that they will meet at the rendezvous point. Yondu reveals they have a stowaway in the form of Cosmo, to which T’Challa replies “you always did have a soft spot for runaways.” This leads Yondu to try and apologise for lying, for T’Challa stops him, acknowledging that he was the one who said that he wanted to see the world and so he can’t blame Yondu for showing him the universe. But he also admits that the revelation has left him uncertain, as he’d always felt at home in space but now isn’t sure where he belongs. Yondu tells him that, if he’s learnt anything from watching him, it’s that “on any planet, among any people, there ain’t no place in this galaxy where you don’t belong.” But where he wants to be is a question he’ll have to follow his heart to answer.
The Ravagers then journey to Wakanda, where T’Challa is tearfully and happily reunited with his family, whom he takes great pleasure in introducing to his space family (“pleased to meet you sir, your son is a galactic hero”). There’s a celebration where the Wakandans and Ravagers mingle (including Thanos embarrassing Nebula by wheeling out his ‘my-genocide-plan-did-have-some-merits-and-was-at-least-efficient’ schtick with Okoye (Danai Gurira), Korath claiming to Shuri that he’s basically T’Challa’s best friend, and T’Challa helping Yondu out of a hole when T’Chaka asks how his son ended up on his ship in the first place).
But then the Watcher takes us from one family reunion to another, to a grown up Peter Quill (Brian T. Delaney), mopping the floor of a fast-food place (which turns out to be the Dairy Queen in his mother’s hometown that we saw in Guardians Volume 2) while listening to music (‘Space Age Love Song’ by A Flock of Seagulls). Peter hears the bell ring as a customer walks in and turns to around to apologise for the fact they’re closed. Unfortunately, this customer is Ego (Kurt Russell), who’s come to find Peter himself. His eyes glow and the Watcher remarks that it’s too bad that this could spell the end of the universe—showing that, in the nature vs nurture argument, this episode makes a compelling case for nurture, as we’ve already seen how T’Challa changed the Ravagers for the better and they expanded his worldview in turn, but while it seems like T’Challa made for the better Star Lord right away, it turns out that while Quill’s journey to become a great Star Lord may have been longer but it was necessary, he needed to meet and have his experiences with the Ravagers and the Guardians, and be nurtured by them, in order to fight back against Ego—but that that’s another story.
And while we leave on the bombshell (which I really, really hope will get picked up again at some point or it’s a massive tease to leave us on), before the end credits, we have a heart-warming dedication to the late Chadwick Boseman: “our friend, our inspiration, and our hero.” What If…? was, of course, one of the final projects Boseman worked on and this episode is a fitting tribute. T’Challa will also, thankfully, be returning in three more episodes this season.
So if a complaint of last week’s episode was that it was just The First Avenger with a Peggy Carter skin on (a bit reductive, I feel, but I can understand where they’re coming from) this week really shows what they can do with the concept. And if last week was a solid opener, here they’ve hit the ground running.
