I can proudly proclaim that I have never, not once in my life, done drugs (taken drugs? See, already the grammar confuses me) but after reading this book, I feel like I have.
Me and Mr. Cigar follows Oscar Lester, a young boy who has spent his entire life with his dog, Mr. Cigar in North Texas. Kind of an outsider, both Oscar and Mr. Cigar have a special bond transcending the human-animal relationship. When Mr. Cigar dies after Oscar’s bully kicks him too hard and is subsequently buried in the backyard, everyone is monumentally surprised when none other than Mr. Cigar pops up again, good as new. Five years later, Oscar – now seventeen – spends his days with his dog and his best friend Lytle Taylor throwing drug-fuelled dance parties and raking in money. He’s also interning at the mysterious IBC corporation, led by Carla Marks who co-designed a prototype that can make everyone invisible or light up like a luminous sky. And in a roundabout way, the military is highly interested in both that prototype and Oscar’s dog, which they know to be more than just a dog. Then, out of the blue, Oscar’s sister calls him saying she has been kidnapped and needs him to pay the ransom. Running from the people who want to capture his supernatural dog and trying to get the money, Oscar, Mr. Cigar and Lytle go on an adventure like no other.
Reading this book is like one huge out-of-your-mind, have-no-idea-what’s-going-on trip. To quote the protagonist Oscar.
The pitch intrigued me, to say the least. It sounded so absurd that I just knew I had to read the book. The plot was equal parts convoluted and confusing; most of the time we jump from chapter to chapter without getting any resolution or explanation; rather, these are snippets of thoughts or temporary actions that Oscar shares with the reader before moving on to the next crazy thing. Only when it is revealed that Oscar has done drugs for the first time (unwillingly) and experiences a “trip” does the jaded storytelling make sense. The dialogue meanders a lot and drags at points, but again, I feel like this was a conscious choice to simulate how Oscar was feeling while under the influence. This book was a bit too uncontrolled; the twists and turns might have had more impact if the story was more structured and there were some actual stakes involved, but sadly, whenever the plot thickened, Haynes was quick to resolve the tension and break it entirely with unnecessary imagery.
I think the way to approach this book is to not take it too seriously. Haynes writes himself in the foreword that he created the kind of story he would have liked to read as a child, bemusing and controversial and crazy. And he definitely delivered. You’ll need a heavy dose of suspension of disbelief to read this book. From highly-secret technology that can make you invisible, to people losing their hands in a freak accident with an insect a dog bred and two guys robbing a bank while naked – this book really just reads like someone saw a Marvel movie while stoned and decided to write a book in one night. But to be honest, it was kind of fun and by far the most mind-boggling content I’ve ever witnessed. This book is not for everybody and it does feel like a joke most of the time but if you’re a fan of movies like 21 Jump Street, you might find yourself laughing out loud at this one.
All in all, this was by far the weirdest book I have ever read. So, if you’re in search of a book that will turn all your expectations upside down, confuse you with baffling chapter titles (I still don’t understand half the references that were made) or you just need a freaky reading experience, this might be for you!
Me and Mr. Cigar is available from Amazon, Book Depository, and other good book retailer as of January 14th 2020.
Will you be picking up Me and Mr. Cigar? Tell us in the comments below!
Synopsis | Goodreads
From legendary Butthole Surfers front-man Gibby Haynes comes a darkly humorous speculative YA debut about a lost Texas teen and his supernatural dog, and the power of found family.
For the past five years seventeen-year-old Oscar Lester has never been without his dog, Mr. Cigar. The two have made a pretty good life for themselves in North Texas. Oscar spends most of his time organizing drug-fueled dance parties with his best friend, Lytle Taylor. And all three benefit from the care of Carla Marks, the genius behind the mysterious IBC corporation. Oscar’s deceased CEO father “discovered” Carla, though Oscar’s mother spends all her time with her new boyfriend. As for Oscar’s older sister, Rachel . . . she fled Texas after Mr. Cigar bit off her left hand. Oscar was twelve. But he alone knows now as he knew then: his beloved pet is no menace. Mr. Cigar is a supernatural companion.
After years of silence, Rachel—now a twenty-two-year-old artist living in New York—phones Oscar out of the blue. She’s being held hostage and will only be released if she pays a debt she owes. At the same time, Carla Marks warns Oscar to get out of town. Nefarious forces are after his dog. Suddenly Oscar, Lytle, and Mr. Cigar find themselves on the run to New York, to save Rachel and to save themselves. And in the end, the truth of Rachel’s circumstances ultimately uncovers the truth of Oscar’s own . . . and the truth about Mr. Cigar.
