Review: Know My Name by Chanel Miller

Article contributed by Laura Glassman

In Know My Name, Chanel Miller writes with incredible eloquence and bravery of her experience of being sexually assaulted, the events including the trial that followed, and her path of trying to heal from something unthinkably difficult.

At the time of the assault, Chanel had recently graduated from college and was happily in a new relationship and her first job post-graduation. One night, she and her sister attended a party at Stanford University where the unthinkable happened. After spending some time dancing and after having a few drinks, she disappeared. She later learned that she was led by Brock Turner to a dumpster area behind the house where the party was being held, where she was brutally assaulted and left in the woods. She was found by two young men who noticed that something was wrong and called for help. Chanel woke up in the hospital with no memory of what happened aside from having attended the party, with pine needles in her hair and an array of people testing her and asking her questions.

From the experience of waking up in the hospital the next day, to the media response following learning of the assault, to the court proceedings, to the healing process, to the way the assault impacts her relationships and sense of self, Chanel tells her story in a way that is expressive, honest and vulnerable, and eloquent. It is impossible not to be moved and changed by this woman’s story, by both her pain and by the ways she finds strength and healing. It is impossible not to be shaken and outraged by countless aspects of the case and the situation, from the way she is treated as a victim, to the limited way in which Brock Turner is punished, to the way various people respond to the events following the assault. And yet readers will also find inspiration in her courage and strength in telling her story, and in how she found comfort and healing after experiencing the darkest and most brutal of things.

One of the most astounding aspects of Miller’s experience as a victim of sexual assault is the way people treated her story and the evidence. She describes a culture of victim blaming, and we see the way people’s tendency to blame the victim in this case shaped the way Chanel’s story was told. For instance, the media’s early response to the assault is astounding and maddening. Miller paints a stark picture of the way the public and the news media responded to news of her story. Newspaper articles lauded Turner as an exceptional student and athlete, and condemned Chanel for drinking at the party. Community members made comments on social media that state or imply that what happened was somehow something she brought upon herself from the way she dressed or behaved. What a horrific experience it must have been to see and wade through all of that! She noted that even such contextual factors such as whether a victim has a boyfriend or is single can impact the public’s perception of them. Why on earth would anyone be deserving of any blame about being touched when they don’t want to be? It should be evident that a lack of consent is enough, but Chanel Miller makes it clear that that was not the case in her situation.

Much of the book focuses on Chanel’s experiences before and at the hearing and at the trial. Readers bear witness to the array of emotions she experienced as she processed the events of the legal proceedings and tried to regain her life and heal. She paints a vivid picture of the emotions she experiences and the difficulties surrounding the proceedings, which dragged on seemingly endlessly. The entire experience was unimaginably difficult for her. It was striking to hear that at the hearing she was told to “make yourself comfortable” when she reached the witness stand, however, as she wrote, she didn’t know what that meant. Her strength while taking the witness stand was admirable, and the experience brutal. It is easy to sense how painful it must have been for her to have stood before a courtroom, her attacker, and his family, and have had to answer extremely difficult and triggering questions about what happened to her. She describes her innermost thoughts and feelings very well during this brutal process. The emotion when the jury reads the verdict is palpable. You will very much feel as though you are inside her world and her emotions throughout the trial and when the outcome was read.

Miller writes about the nonlinear process of healing as well as living her life before the trial. She beautifully describes the small comforts and things that brought her back to life, as well as many impossibly hard days and times. In one particularly poignant memory, she spoke to her mother during one of her darker days and derived wisdom from her mother’s words. She says she realised, “When I listened to her, I understood: You have to hold out to see how your life unfolds, because it is most likely beyond what you can imagine. It is not a question of if you will survive this, but what beautiful things await you when you do. I had to believe her, because she was living proof. Then she said, “Good and bad things come from the universe holding hands. Wait for the good to come.””

Chanel’s bravery in speaking truth to power in her victim’s statement and the response it garnered, as well as her decision to write this book, is phenomenal. She found a way to help herself heal and to bring an important story to many millions of people around the world who needed to hear her story, and in so doing, reclaimed some of her power and selfhood.

Know My Name is written in a way that is utterly vulnerable and open and yet strong at the same time. It is emotional and tough and painful to read at times because her story is unthinkably hard. But in the end, it is a story so very worth reading. It is a story that gives voice to the experiences of countless women. It is a story that will teach the world something about what it is to go through what Chanel Miller went through. And it is a testament to her spirit after experiencing the unthinkable. This a book that should not be missed.

Know My Name is available from Amazon, Book Depository, and other good book retailers.

Will you be picking up Know My Name? Tell us in the comments below!

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Synopsis | Goodreads

She was known to the world as Emily Doe when she stunned millions with a letter. Brock Turner had been sentenced to just six months in county jail after he was found sexually assaulting her on Stanford’s campus. Her victim impact statement was posted on BuzzFeed, where it instantly went viral–viewed by eleven million people within four days, it was translated globally and read on the floor of Congress; it inspired changes in California law and the recall of the judge in the case. Thousands wrote to say that she had given them the courage to share their own experiences of assault for the first time.

Now she reclaims her identity to tell her story of trauma, transcendence, and the power of words. It was the perfect case, in many ways–there were eyewitnesses, Turner ran away, physical evidence was immediately secured. But her struggles with isolation and shame during the aftermath and the trial reveal the oppression victims face in even the best-case scenarios. Her story illuminates a culture biased to protect perpetrators, indicts a criminal justice system designed to fail the most vulnerable, and, ultimately, shines with the courage required to move through suffering and live a full and beautiful life.

Know My Name will forever transform the way we think about sexual assault, challenging our beliefs about what is acceptable and speaking truth to the tumultuous reality of healing. It also introduces readers to an extraordinary writer, one whose words have already changed our world. Entwining pain, resilience, and humor, this memoir will stand as a modern classic.

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