“You are not a creature of grief. You are not a congregation of wounds. You are not the sum of your losses. Your skin is not your scars. Your life is yours, and it can be new and wondrous. Remember that.”
It is astounding how Jeff Zentner keeps on finding new ways to break my heart and stitch it back together. Even the simple task of choosing a quote for this review was hell on earth because there is a plethora of quotes in this book that made me tear up or feel seen or both and you’d think after three books I would be used to Zentner cracking me open and finding all the broken parts and fix it with a simple story but nope, still blown away by his talent every single time. I preface this review with the fact that I in no way will be able to do this book justice but anyway, let’s give this a go. In the Wild Light follows Cash whose life in a small Appalachian town has never been easy. Losing his mother to an opioid addiction as a child and living with his Papaw who is dying slowly from emphysema, Cash is no stranger to heartbreaking loss. The only light in his life is his best friend, the exceptionally smart Delaney. When Delaney manages to snag them both full rides to an elite prep school in Connecticut, Cash has to grapple with his need to follow Delaney to protect her from the harsh world and his love for his grandparents that he does not want to leave behind. Following his dreams and the girl that is the best part in his life, Cash suddenly finds himself surrounded by foreign challenges and will have to find a way to swim in shark-infested waters, if only to make sure none of them bite Delaney.
In many ways, In the Wild Light is a love story. A story about love between best friends, between a grandchild and the grandparents that take care of him and love him unconditionally, a love story about a quiet place that might not be perfect but has its charms. Most of all, though, this was a story about discovering love in the places you might not think to look—Cash finds himself falling in love with the wrong girl and then the right girl, finds himself falling in love with poetry, with friends who encourage him and support him, with a sport he never even considered and with a place he would have once scrunched his nose at.
Cash’s time at the boarding school offers so much—an unfiltered look at privileged teens who think they own the world before they’ve even lived in it but also a place where Cash finds a home away from home. While I don’t want to spoil too much of the plot because this feels like one of those books that has the most impact if you go into it blindly, there is purpose and support and the hunger for more between these pages. Both Cash and Delaney are nurtured in this place that applauds their love for learning and their scrappiness but they also face discrimination and ridicule. In the Wild Light very much thematises the question of how much where you come from determines your future and for anyone who loves an underdog, this is a must read. Cash especially is on such a journey of realising his potential, of trying to overcome the fears that he will never be good enough or never fit in because of where he comes from or the trauma of his past. He finds an outlet in poetry he’s never thought possible and his poems are heartwrenching, to say the least.
It’s hard to put my love for this book into words and that is mostly because it’s not just a story, it’s an experience. The way Zentner writes, the way he describes both Cash and Delaney’s hometown and their “immigrant” experience in Connecticut makes you as the reader go through an emotional journey yourself. You experience the South in a way that feels like you’re sitting on the porch with Cash and his funny, charming, loving grandfather, and then you move up to Connecticut and find yourself on a rowing boat on the freezing river, cheering Cash on. And somehow, in making you experience all of this with the characters, you get this insight into their lives, but also your own. Zentner has a tendency of making sure you as the reader know that life does not have to be big to be beautiful, does not have to be loud to be valid. You spend your time with Cash and Delaney at boarding school and you leave the story knowing that the people in your life are the most important thing, even when they’re gone.
And that being said, this story also encompasses the vast spectrum of grief—grieving someone while they’re still there, caring for someone you know won’t be long for the world, and facing the utter devastation of losing the pillar that has held you up all your life. I’ve read many a story where the depiction of grief crushed me but In the Wild Light did so much more than that. With the help of Zentner’s lyrical prose, Cash’s poems and his friends’ silent support, you grieve for losses but you also find the beauty in the things that are still there. And that alone is reason enough to pick this marvellous book up.
While I keep this review vague on purpose, there is much to be said for the incredibly fleshed-out secondary characters, the diversity of Cash and Delaney’s friends and the development of their own friendship in this new, foreign environment, as well as the bonds that tie them to their hometown. In this character-driven story, everyone gets their moment to shine and you do not want to miss out on that.
Vivid, profound and utterly exceptional, In the Wild Light may be Jeff Zentner’s best novel yet. With mesmerising descriptions, the love for the written word seeping through the pages and characters that will steal your heart, this is a must read.
In the Wild Light is available from Amazon, Book Depository, and other good book retailers, like your local bookstore, as of August 10th 2021.
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Synopsis | Goodreads
From the award-winning author of The Serpent King comes a beautiful examination of grief, found family, and young love.
Life in a small Appalachian town is not easy. Cash lost his mother to an opioid addiction and his Papaw is dying slowly from emphysema. Dodging drug dealers and watching out for his best friend, Delaney, is second nature. He’s been spending his summer mowing lawns while she works at Dairy Queen.
But when Delaney manages to secure both of them full rides to an elite prep school in Connecticut, Cash will have to grapple with his need to protect and love Delaney, and his love for the grandparents who saved him and the town he would have to leave behind.
