Glitterland follows Ash Winters, who was once considered the golden boy of the English literary scene but is now a clinically depressed writer of pulp crime fiction. Ash has given up on hope, happiness and most of all— himself. Trapped in a never-ending cycle of his illness, he is constantly haunted by people’s expectations and the inevitable disappointment that comes with not meeting them. Then a chance encounter turns Ash’s world upside down. Darian Taylor is many things—by his own admission, not the sharpest tool in the shed, incredibly charismatic, funny and outgoing—and definitely not one to run when things get tough. Most important of all, he makes Ash laugh. But Ash has spent years living in his own shadow—can he see past it to fight for his own happiness when he thought it irretrievable?
It’s hard to believe that this is Hall’s first ever novel considering the emotional punch it packs. The amount of times I had to put down the book because I was so overcome with the indescribably realistic depiction of mental illness is unfathomable to me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my own experience with mental health portrayed quite as relatably as I did in Glitterland. Ash is such an easy character to engage with, perhaps because I understood his actions on a deeply personal level. Ash is constantly crushed by the expectations others place on him (and those he thinks they place on him) and crippled by the fear that he won’t be able to meet them. Instead, he self-sabotages (both consciously and unconsciously) and hates himself for it, perpetuating the cycle of confusion, dread and inward-directed guilt.
Then Darian comes into his life, turning his dull life to technicolour (yes that’s a Lizzie McGuire reference, sue me) and making Ash desperate to cling to this version of his life he never imagined possible. Suddenly, he finds himself wanting to try again. To be a better person, to give himself the benefit of the doubt and to maybe let someone in. What makes reading this book manageable even during the hardest of scenes (and there are quite a few) is Ash’s sarcastic wit and self-deprecating voice, not to mention Darian’s smirk-inducing Essex accent. Hall doesn’t shy away from depicting Ash’s panic attacks in all their grandness, but infuses it with so much care and then balances it with inexplicably sweet scenes of Ash being absolutely stunned by the effect Darian has on him. Darian is a bit of a golden retriever, so Ash’s mean streaks (that are heavily influenced by his trauma) feel like barbs that even the reader is pierced by but again, it’s so authentic you can’t really look away, either.
I think one of the things Hall always excels at is telling it like it is and Glitterland is no different. Ash isn’t miraculously cured by Darian’s presence. He isn’t suddenly no longer experiencing hardship and self-doubt and doesn’t just stop self-destructing. He makes mistakes and hurts people but most of all, he ends up hurting himself in the process. Yet Ash’s story is ultimately a hopeful one. It reminds readers that it’s part of life to make mistakes and to sometimes hurt the people who deserve it the least, especially if those mistakes are driven by things that feel (or are) out of your control. What matters isn’t necessarily not making the mistakes, but learning from them and trying to make up for them in whatever way you can. Which we should all take to heart, no matter where we are at in life.
Hard-hitting but ultimately uplifting, Glitterland is a complex, emotionally resonant exploration of mental illness, the tenacity it takes to endure life and most of all, a reminder to let people in.
Glitterland is available from Amazon, Book Depository, and other good book retailers, like your local bookstore, as of January 17th 2023.
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Synopsis | Goodreads
From the acclaimed author of BOYFRIEND MATERIAL comes a deeply emotional romance about heartbreak, hope, and learning to love against all the odds.
Once the golden boy of the English literary scene, now a clinically depressed writer of pulp crime fiction, Ash Winters has given up on hope, happiness, and―most of all―himself. He lives his life between the cycles of his illness, haunted by the ghosts of other people’s expectations.
Then a chance encounter throws him into the path of Essex-born Darian Taylor. Flashy and loud, radiant and full of life, Darian couldn’t be more different…and yet he makes Ash laugh, reminding him of what it’s like to step beyond the boundaries of his anxiety. But Ash has been living in his own shadow for so long that he can no longer see a way out. Can a man who doesn’t trust himself ever trust in happiness? And how can someone who doesn’t believe in happiness ever fight for his own?
