Guest post written by At the End of the River Styx author Michelle Kulwicki
Michelle Kulwicki grew up in the Pacific Northwest overturning every rock and stick in an unending quest to find portals to worlds far more exciting than her own. After moving to the mountainless Midwest, she earned her bachelors and master’s degrees in music performance, and spent years in the symphony and musical theater pit circuit. She’s now a mom by day, musician by night, and writer in all the spaces in between—a life that is somewhat lacking in portals, but is still full of magic.
Her short fiction has been both Locus Recommended and Hugo nominated, and her first full length novel, At the End of the River Styx releases on September 24th 2024
My debut novel At the End of the River Styx is about conquering grief and learning to love again, set on a mythological river of death. It is meant to highlight mental health: the pain of growth after trauma and loss, and the love that can still bloom and exist along the way.
I’ve been a huge reader my entire life, devouring chunky fantasy novels, hiding in my room pretending that I was each character, and creating my own universes. Here, I could dive deep within the immersive worlds on the page, rather than face the mundane human world, where every breath I took came with near crippling anxiety. Here, I could lead quests and make decisions with the ease and confidence. Here, I could become the hero.
It may come as no surprise that I’ve struggled with my own mental health. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, medicated for both, only to years later be re-diagnosed with bipolar 2. I’ve taken medications, stopped medications, switched medications, restarted medications. Gone to therapy, not gone to therapy, gone to therapy again. My lows are devastating, my highs are thrilling, and both of them are something I’ve learned to live for better or worse. For so long, books were my safe haven, even if the heroes were nothing like me.
These were the attributes I wanted to give my MCs. This was who I wanted my readers to relate to. And I so badly hope they do, that they see themselves in Bastian’s struggle with his anxiety, depression, and severe PTSD. He goes to therapy on the page, he listens, he tries, and sometimes? It’s still not enough. Bastian will deal with his mental health struggles for the rest of his life.
That doesn’t mean his life won’t be beautiful.
And with the surge of incredible mental health rep across young adult novels, and the care and tireless attention authors who share these traits give their protagonists, so many other characters have the chance to show their beautiful lives, too. Books will always remain my safe place. But this time, the main characters look more like me. Think more like me. Act more like me.
It’s my absolute privilege to share a few of my very favorite titles from recent years.
The Mirror Season by Anna-Marie McLemore
Mental health representation: PTSD, anxiety
When two teens discover that they were both sexually assaulted at the same party, they develop a cautious friendship through her family’s possibly magical pastelería, his secret forest of otherworldly trees, and the swallows returning to their hometown, in Anna-Marie McLemore’s The Mirror Season…
Graciela Cristales’s whole world changes after she and a boy she barely knows are assaulted at the same party. She loses her gift for making enchanted pan dulce. Neighborhood trees vanish overnight, while mirrored glass appears, bringing reckless magic with it. And Ciela is haunted by what happened to her, and what happened to the boy whose name she never learned.
But when the boy, Lock, shows up at Ciela’s school, he has no memory of that night, and no clue that a single piece of mirrored glass is taking his life apart. Ciela decides to help him, which means hiding the truth about that night. Because Ciela knows who assaulted her, and him. And she knows that her survival, and his, depend on no one finding out what really happened.
The Hollow and the Haunted by Camilla Raines
Mental health representation: Anxiety
Sixteen-year-old Miles Warren hails from a long line of psychics. Resigned to a life in the (not especially profitable) family business, Miles is perfectly happy, thank you very much―except for the part where he’s constantly exhausted from long nights digging up graves, hiding his sexuality from his family, and unable to fulfil his dream of going to art school one day. Perfectly happy.
But Miles’ comfortable routine is interrupted when has a premonition of a violent supernatural murder. He soon discovers that the victim is none other than Gabriel Hawthorne, whose family have a mysterious, decades-long feud with Miles’ own. Gabriel is everything Miles expects from a Hawthorne―rude, snobbish, and irritatingly good-looking―but Miles isn’t just going to stand by and let someone murder him. The two form an uneasy alliance, trying to solve Gabriel’s murder and prevent it from taking place.
The odds are against them; death premonitions are notoriously hard to alter. As they uncover secrets about their families’ feud and dark magic swirls around the pair, Miles is horrified to realize that he doesn’t hate Gabriel as much as he’s supposed to. He might even like him.
Too bad Gabriel is almost certainly going to die.
This is Why they Hate Us by Aaron H. Aceves
Mental health representation: Depression, Anxiety, Mania
Enrique “Quique” Luna has one goal this summer—get over his crush on Saleem Kanazi by pursuing his other romantic prospects. Never mind that he’s only out to his best friend, Fabiola. Never mind that he has absolutely zero game. And definitely forget the fact that good and kind and, not to mention, beautiful Saleem is leaving L.A. for the summer to meet a girl his parents are trying to set him up with.
Luckily, Quique’s prospects are each intriguing in their own ways. There’s stoner-jock Tyler Montana, who might be just as interested in Fabiola as he is in Quique; straight-laced senior class president, Ziggy Jackson; and Manny Zuniga, who keeps looking at Quique like he’s carne asada fresh off the grill. With all these choices, Quique is sure to forget about Saleem in no time.
But as the summer heats up and his deep-seated fears and anxieties boil over, Quique soon realizes that getting over one guy by getting under a bunch of others may not have been the best laid plan and living his truth can come at a high cost.
If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come by Jen St. Jude
Mental health representation: Depression, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt
We Are Okay meets They Both Die at the End in this YA debut about queer first love and mental health at the end of the world-and the importance of saving yourself, no matter what tomorrow may hold.
Avery Byrne has secrets. She’s queer; she’s in love with her best friend, Cass; and she’s suffering from undiagnosed clinical depression. But on the morning Avery plans to jump into the river near her college campus, the world discovers there are only nine days left to an asteroid is headed for Earth, and no one can stop it.
Trying to spare her family and Cass additional pain, Avery does her best to make it through just nine more days. As time runs out and secrets slowly come to light, Avery would do anything to save the ones she loves. But most importantly, she learns to save herself. Speak her truth. Seek the support she needs. Find hope again in the tomorrows she has left.
The Light Between Worlds by Laura Weymouth
Mental health representation: Depression, self-harm, PTSD, suicidal ideation, disordered eating
Five years ago, Evelyn and Philippa Hapwell cowered from air strikes in a London bomb shelter. But that night took a turn when the sisters were transported to another realm called the Woodlands. In a forest kingdom populated by creatures out of myth and legend, they found temporary refuge.
When they finally returned to London, nothing had changed at all—nothing, except themselves.
Now, Ev spends her days sneaking into the woods outside her boarding school, wishing for the Woodlands. Overcome with longing, she is desperate to return no matter what it takes.
Philippa, on the other hand, is determined to find a place in this world. She shields herself behind a flawless exterior and countless friends, and moves to America to escape the memory of what was.
But when Evelyn goes missing, Philippa must confront the depth of her sister’s despair and the painful truths they’ve been running from. As the weeks unfold, Philippa wonders if Ev truly did find a way home, or if the weight of their worlds pulled her under.
