We chat with author of Mariama J. Lockington about Forever Is Now, which is a poignant and lyrical young adult novel-in-verse about a Black teen coming of age in an anxiety-inducing world, from the author of For Black Girls Like Me and In the Key of Us.
Hi, Mariama! Can you tell our readers a bit about yourself?
Hi, all! I’m an educator, adoptee, and an author of books for teens and tweens. I call many places home, but I currently live in Kentucky with my wife, and my sausage dog, Henry. I’m a poet at heart, a voracious book worm, I love to cook, take care of my many house plants, and box a couple times a week. When I’m not writing or doing one of the above mentioned hobbies, I work as a program director for the University of Kentucky’s College of Education. I love all my jobs— a little too much, probably. I am Capricorn sun sign, so I’m always making epic to do lists and dreaming up projects, plans, and stories in my head.
When did you first discover your love for writing and stories?
I’ve always loved stories. When I was a kid, I used to make my own books out of cardboard, paper, and staples, and draw/write all kinds of characters and worlds in them. I was raised by classical musicians and grew up playing flute and piano. Through the practice of music, I learned the practice of writing. I learned that even if you have a talent for something— you still have to work at it, perfect your craft. In middle school I started attending a creative writing summer camp, and that’s when I realized storytelling was what I wanted to do with my life.
Quick lightning round! Tell us the first book you ever remember reading, the one that made you want to become an author, and one that you can’t stop thinking about!
Harriet the Spy. This book (and movie) taught me how to unabashedly observe and catalog the world around me. I even used to walk around in a red raincoat with a composition notebook tucked under my arm and spy on people in my neighborhood. Nothing was too mundane for the page!
Your YA debut, Forever Is Now, is out May 23rd! If you could only describe it in five words, what would they be?
Tender, Bursting, Loving, Fierce, Joyful
What can readers expect?
This is a story about a queer Black girl living with chronic anxiety and trying to survive in a world that often feels like it’s out to kill her. It’s about finding hope and freedom in community despite all, it’s about harnessing one’s power, even from the confines of four walls. It’s about grief, and love, and falling apart, it’s about losing and finding love, but above all, it’s about claiming and nurturing joy. When reading this story, you’ll laugh, cry, squirm, rage, maybe need to take a deep breath, but hopefully you’ll also find some sliver of truth that validates and holds you, just as you are.
Where did the inspiration for Forever Is Now come from?
I started writing this book shortly after Breonna Taylor was killed by police in Louisville in 2020. I was struggling with my own mental health— having panic attacks on the daily and suffering from insomnia. I was not OK, as many of us were not. The racial violence against Black bodies, coupled with the early days of the Pandemic took a huge toll on me. Writing has always been a way to survive, and so I turned to the page to work out what was going on in my heart and brain— and out came this story. I wanted to write a book where a Black girl gets the luxury of falling apart, of not having to shoulder the world, where she gets to just be as she is: sad and anxious. A story where a Black girl’s mental health is treated with as much care, nuance, and forgiveness as her white peers. A story about a Black girl who has fight for days, but who is also delicate and searching for ways to harness her authentic voice and power. With this story, I wanted to answer the questions: How do we, Black people, continue to celebrate joy and speak truth to power in the face of so much hate and violence? How is the act of loving our communities, our families, fiercely and out loud, an act of resistance? How are we surviving and thriving, despite all?
Were there any favourite moments or characters you really enjoyed writing or exploring?
I loved writing the character of Sadie’s little brother, Charlie. Charlie is an important support to Sadie throughout the book, but he also has his own distinct personality. I loved writing his character because he’s a middle school foodie and obsessed with cooking. It was important to me to also make room in this book for some Black boy joy. I think Charlie provides many moments of hope, compassion, and levity in the book. He was a delightful character to write.
What do you hope your readers take away from Forever Is Now?
That it’s ok not to be ok, and to seek shelter, support, and care when you need it most. That living in the present is one of the most courageous things we can do as humans, and that your voice, your pain, and most importantly, your joy is valid. Don’t let it slip you by.
You live with generalized anxiety and panic disorder. Does writing provide an outlet for you? Or perhaps with many things we can love and do, it can bring the good and the bad—an outlet and acting as a source of anxiety, such as deadlines and pressure for example?
LOL YES. Writing has always been a survival tool for me— a way to unjumble my feelings and thoughts, especially during hard times. But I won’t lie— when I have a deadline my chronic anxiety, imposter syndrome, and powers of procrastination do sometimes get the best of me. I’ve had to ask my editor more than a few times for extensions on drafts, and even though the requests are always met with understanding and compassion, I feel like a failure and beat myself up about asking for more time or needing help. In these moments, I have to work really hard to focus on progress over perfection— to remind my panicky brain that I am human, doing my best, and that self-care, boundaries, and rest while writing stories are also productive and necessary. It’s an ongoing process and lesson.
What’s next for you?
I have a 4th book I’m currently working on that will be out sometime in 2024. I don’t want to share too much about it yet, but I will say that it’s set during the Winter months— which is exciting for me because so far all my books have taken place in Spring or Summer. I’m also part of a YA anthology that will be out later this year called, WHEN WE BECOME OURS. This anthology is full of stories written by adoptees for adoptees, and the first of its kind. It will be out October 23, 2023.
Lastly, are there any 2023 releases our readers should look out for?
I’m really excited for the Queens of New York by E.L Shen and Going BiCoastal by Dahlia Adler to come out. Both release in June!
