Are Y’all with the Cult?

Guest post by It’s Not A Cult author Lauren Danhof
Lauren Danhof got her BA in English from the University of the Incarnate Word and her MA in English literature from Texas Tech University. She lives in the Dallas–Fort Worth area with her patient husband, Robert; her two girls; and her two rescue kitties. It’s Not A Cult is available from August 22nd.


I do not claim to be an expert on cults, but they have always interested me—the idea of surrendering your mind to a thought collective is terrifying and extremely fascinating. Hence the reason I wrote my debut novel, It’s Not a Cult.

Real cults are a delicate and complicated topic. I wouldn’t want anyone to walk away from this article, or my book for that matter, with the idea that these cult members are either weak-willed or weak-minded. Most of the members of these real cults are victims of diabolical and self-serving manipulators. In fact, through my general interest in true crime and all things morbid, I have learned not to be so arrogant as to think I, if put in the right circumstances, could not get sucked in too. And trigger warning: there is mention of sexual assault.

The following is an examination of both real and fictional cults: their appeal, their dangers, and why they fascinate us. Additionally, I’ve concluded each cult on the list with reasons I might or might not join this cult.

Also, spoilers ahead, naturally. So, here we go:

1. The Starlight Pioneer Society (fictional: It’s Not a Cult)

The Starlight Pioneer Society is a cult started by Arlon Blight, who manipulates people’s emotions, thoughts, and perceptions while drugging them to sustain his control. The Pioneers believe in a lot of things that don’t really make sense. Arlon’s belief system for the cult is a hodgepodge of cult jargon, so confusing that his members must rely on his interpretation and instruction.

Reasons I might or might not join this cult:  Arlon’s approach is to target lonely, grieving, broken people, and then, of course, there are mind-altering drugs. The group is touted as a kind of self-help community. Jokes on him, I avoid self-help at all costs. Also, it’s in a trailer behind an Arby’s.

2. NXIVM (real)

Founded by Keith Raniere, NXIVM is an example of a modern-day cult. The appeal of NXIVM was the promise of female empowerment, inner peace, and the usual yada yada yada. Member Allison Mack (of Smallville fame) created videos showing how NXIVM had completely transformed her life. Problem is, the videos didn’t show women being blackmailed, sexually assaulted, and even branded! The abuse that Raniere and his followers inflicted on women is horrendous. Raniere was recently sentenced to a hundred and twenty years in prison—so, bye, Felicia!

Reasons I might or might not join this cult:  Look, the basic white girl appeal of yoga pants, meditation, and female empowerment are tempting. However, reading the way they spelled their name with all caps and as few vowels as possible feels like fingernails scraping across the surface of my brain.

3. Guilty Remnant (fictional: The Leftovers)

The Guilty Remnant is a cult that arose after 2% of the world’s population disappeared without explanation. They wear white, chain-smoke, and do not talk. They are pretty nihilistic, believing that those left behind are living a pointless existence. And yeah, they’ve got your standard crazy cult leader, who takes sexual advantage of people and thinks he’s Jesus Christ. But beyond that, they represent one of the ways people deal with depression and grief. The cult is bad, Holy Wayne is bad, but the members are lost. Overall, super depressing.

Reasons I might or might not join this cult: No talking? Hard pass. Also, too sad.

4. The Ant Hill Kids (real)

A lesser known (except in Canada) cult leader was Roch Thériault, founder of the Ant Hill Kids, so named because they worked as hard as ants while Roch Thériault sat back and watched. They wore matching robes and believed the end of the world was nigh. Thériault is one of the worst cult leaders I think I’ve ever read about (with the exception of Jim Jones, just because of the magnitude of Jonestown). I’m not going to go into the atrocities that Thériault inflicted on his followers, but it is some seriously depraved stuff.

Reasons I might or might not join this cult:  You lost me at works as hard as ants. I’m out. 

5. The Neighbourhood Watch Alliance (fictional: Hot Fuzz)

“The greater good!” Confession—Hot Fuzz is one of my top favorite flicks. It’s the perfect blend of parody, horror, mystery, and overall hilarity. When a police officer from the big city comes to a small English town, a series of “accidents” resulting in the deaths of local townsfolk cause him to search out the truth. What he finds is the Neighbourhood Watch, a literal neighborhood watch group that takes to maintaining the town’s charm by murdering offenders for “the greater good.”

Reasons I might or might not join this cult: It’s one I would be the least likely to join—ya know, because of all the murder, but it’s definitely the most fun.

6. Heaven’s Gate (real)

If you’ve ever watched a documentary about this cult, then you’ve probably seen the home videos of the members, laughing, singing, and enjoying each other’s company. It seems very childlike and innocent. But, in 1997, these people followed their leader, Marshall Applewhite, to their doom, committing mass suicide in the belief that the Hale-Bopp Comet was hiding a spaceship in its tail that would take them to their next life. Victims were found covered in shrouds and wearing brand-new white Nike sneakers. To make things even creepier, the group’s website is still up and running, a relic of the nineties.

Reasons I might or might not join this cult:  Marshall Applewhite had crazy eyes. That’s the first red flag. Also, there’s the whole castration thing that I’m not going to go into.

7. The Branch Davidians (real)

David Koresh said he was Jesus Christ. How original. He had multiple wives, many of whom were underage (AKA children). Overall, he was an egomaniac, concerned more about his own fame and need for attention than the lives of the people who followed him. All cult leaders are douchebags, but Koresh seems like the douchiest. Before the whole cult thing, he was an unemployed musician with a bad haircut. (*Cough* So was Charles Manson. *Cough*)

The Branch Davidians are controversial for the way the siege on their compound was carried out by the US government. Let’s just say, mistakes were made. The result was the avoidable deaths of eighty-six people. And while I agree that it was not the FBI’s finest hour, most of the blame must be shouldered by Koresh, who likely ordered the compound be set on fire, trapping innocent people (including twenty-five children) as they burned alive or died of smoke inhalation.

Reasons I might or might not join this cult: As I said, Koresh is a douche. I might not always be able to immediately identify a conman, but am instinctually repelled by men like David Koresh.  

8. The cult from American Horror Story (fictional: American Horror Story: Cult)

Confession, I haven’t seen a single episode of American Horror Story and I don’t plan to anytime soon. I am a giant wimp, especially with gory stuff.  So the following is complete bullshit based on my limited knowledge of the series. Enjoy.  Sarah Paulson starts a clown cult with Jessica Lange and they all wear a lot of latex. Then Evan Peters shows up and a bunch of people die. Sarah Paulson probably makes it to the end.

Reasons I might or might not join this cult: I mean, I like Sarah Paulson as an actress, but again, I haven’t seen it, so I’d be more inclined to join one of the cults I know more about. The devil you know, and all that.

 9. The People’s Temple (Jonestown) (real)

Warning, this is a tough one. The People’s Temple in Jonestown is still the largest mass suicide* on record and the origin of the phrase “drinking the Kool-Aid” (although it was Flavor-Aid). The culmination of one man’s inflated ego, paranoia, and coke habit resulted in the deaths of over nine-hundred people, including Leo Ryan, who is only the second member of the US House of Representatives to be assassinated in office.

*It is no longer considered a mass suicide, but a mass murder-suicide, as many of the victims were coerced or flat-out injected with poison against their will. It’s pure nightmare fuel

Reasons I might or might not join this cult:  The scary thing about Jim Jones was some of his views on social issues were fairly progressive for the time. Described as charismatic, he was an advocate for racial integration. There is a real danger I could be drawn in by his completely reasonable and justified social platform, only to be brought under his spell before realizing he was batshit crazy.  Also drugs. He was on a lot of drugs. Just so we’re clear—Jim Jones—bad, evil, scum of the earth, putrefied catfish bait.

10. The Satanic Cult (fictional: Rosemary’s Baby)

This list wouldn’t be complete without a good, old-fashioned satanic cult. And sure, the premise of a woman being drugged and then impregnated by Satan is pretty rough, you have to kind of cheer on the satanists as they tend to poor Rosemary and her evil fetus. Furthermore, the eighties saw the rise of the Satanic Panic, which further villainized these eccentric folks. All they want is to be left alone—and also impregnant a woman against her will, force her to carry the anti-Christ, and then mother it when it’s born. What can I say? They have a plan.

Reasons I might or might not join this cult: As fun as all that sounds, a baby is a huge responsibility, especially one with so much expectation placed upon it. I think I’ll pass.

11. The Hårga (fictional: Midsommar

Midsommar is a horror movie about a group of college students who travel to an idyllic commune in Sweden, where the people are performing their ritualistic midsummer celebration that only occurs every ninety years. Naturally, the group begins to dwindle in the most unpleasant ways until we end up with human sacrifice. But! But the “final girl” gets to dance and is crowned May Queen, so that’s cool.

Reasons I might or might not join this cult:  Their whole aesthetic is right up my alley. Come on, there are flower crowns and feasts! Sign me up!

That’s my list. There are plenty more real and imagined cults out there. Some are scams (I’m looking at you, LuLaRoe), while others are more sinister. The one thing they share is the enticing allure of belonging and belief. And as strong-minded as we might think we are, when put in the shoes of some of the victims of these cults, seeing the forest for the trees can be tricky.

We’d like to believe we wouldn’t get sucked in, but when the right circumstances align, the risk of falling for a cult is both a very real and almost always precarious trap in which we might find ourselves ensnared.

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