Written by Charlie Johnson
Philly is one of those rare shows that manages to keep up with social and political issues without feeling like a cash in. Instead of patting itself on the back and showing the audience how good and moral it is. No, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia takes an alternate approach by highlighting how bad the characters are. It shows us what not to do. When we see a relatable character on-screen doing and saying horrible things, it makes us think, “Wow! I hope I’m not like that.” Instead of creating a moral high-ground and talking down to you Philly invites introspection and self-analysis. It’s only after we understand ourselves that we can improve. Unlike us, this week, The Gang is forced to attend a sexual harassment seminar after Paddy’s was placed upon the list of “Unsafe Bars for Women”.
Time’s Up!
It’s Saturday morning and Dennis, Mac, Charlie, and Frank walk into the hotel conference centre and take front row seats for the seminar. As they’re all complaining about how it’s probably Dennis’ activities that landed them there, they start to reveal how sexist they really are. Frank admits that he “banged all [his] secretaries. That’s the way you did it.” He reveals that he hired women with no job experience, had sex with them, and then promoted them. While Dennis seems to be the only one taking this seriously, it appears he is doing it for selfish reasons. “Women are on a little bit of a rampage right now and anyone can be taken done at any moment.” Just another example of what an upstanding guy Dennis is. When he asks if anyone could be happy in this scenario, Dee bursts into the room with popcorn chanting “Time’s Up!”
The Statute of Limitations
The seminar begins in earnest and the poor presenter is immediately bombarded with questions from The Gang. Mac needs to know how many points to get because is based on points. How else did the Eagles win the Superbowl? Charlie claims innocence, thinking that he shouldn’t be there. Dee says it’s because no one can keep it in their pants while Frank gets up and leaves claiming that the Statute of Limitations means they can’t sue him for anything because he has been clean since 1992. When both Dennis and the presenter inform him that some states are removing said statute, he starts behaving awkwardly and leaves to make some calls. From here, The Gang is split in two groups for some roleplaying exercises.
‘The Move’
So, Dee, Charlie, and Mac are sent to another room with the exceedingly tall presenter for some roleplay and discussion. After some volunteers are picked from the crowd (not The Gang of course) and a scenario takes place, they immediately start arguing with the man running the workshop. While Dee is critiquing the acting skills of the poor guys up there, Charlie and Mac don’t see anything wrong with what was said and chalk it up to locker room talk and jokes. Frustrated, Allan invites Mac up and puts him in a scenario that is familiar to him in an attempt to show him what’s wrong. With Dee playing the customer and Mac being the bouncer, Dee strolls up to Mac only to be hoisted two feet into the air by her crotch. What just happened? A stunned Allan reveals that this stunt isn’t just harassment but sexual assault instead. Charlie slips out of the room quickly and Dee is told that she could press charges for something like that. Now Mac starts tugging at his collar. It’s getting a bit warm in here.
Dennis Knows His Stuff
In the other room with Kate, Dennis is providing all the right answers in his typical smug way. That’s when Dee and her newfound power stroll in and try to take him down. As it turns out, while calling your sister a big dumb bird is not very nice, it isn’t classified as sexual harassment. Frank joins the party. He’s strolling around talking to his lawyer on the phone and wearing nothing but a bath robe. He’s sweating through his own clothes. A recess is called after we hear one end of a racially dubious conversation between Frank and his lawyer. In the lunch area all the guys convene. Both Mac and Frank are sweating. Things are not going well. Meanwhile, Dee is having a great time at the buffet making men scatter as she loudly claims someone grabbed her butt.
Sit There and Do Nothing
Kate starts to get upset as Mac keeps interrupting with wrong answers and Dee struts around admonishing everyone. Frank is caught looking at her breasts and Dee offers her an unsolicited shoulder rub. Perfect examples of what not to do. Allan and Kate finally reconvene the group to present a hypothetical scenario to test what the group has learnt. The following “hypothetical” is the exact story of how Charlie used to stalk the Waitress and dig through her garbage. The penny drops, and Charlie immediately goes on the defensive. Charlie has been sucked in and can no longer separate himself from the hypothetical scenario.
Like a drowning man at sea, Charlie starts trying to drag everyone down with him in an attempt to stay floating. As a last-ditch effort to move the hot spotlight off himself, he reveals the time he was molested by Dee in the season 6 episode, The Gang Misses the Boat. After a brief attempt to defend herself, Dee concedes saying, “that’s ringin’ a bell.” When Kate brings up the “Rape” word, Dee starts to feel hot and uncomfortable. It turns out women can equally be considered perpetrators too. Frank wanders back in at this point, still on the phone and accidentally lets his robe fly open to reveal a black box and presumably his penis beneath that.
Dennis Takes Control
In classic Dennis style, he takes over the presentation. Remarkably he has his own PowerPoint ready to go. Now that he has the floor, Dennis drops his bombshell. Ugliness is the only thing that causes sexual harassment. The uglier you are as man; the less women enjoy your attention and are in turn more likely to consider your advances creepy. You have a biological window within which to do your harassing is his point. He then systematically tells each one of The Gang that there time is up.
Frank is rich and thinks that money will offset his ugliness. It actually makes you more of a risk. “It’s fun to take a rich guy down. Time’s up.”
Mac thinks he’s safe because he is gay. It doesn’t matter though because he’s still ugly. He needs to stop objectifying men in an attempt to feel better. Dennis sinks the claws in saying that Mac will never get him anyway. “Time’s up.”
Charlie thinks he’s a hopeless romantic and that makes him cute. Nope. There’s nothing cute about someone willing to dig through garbage for a clue at love. It’s desperate and there’s nothing cute about desperation. “Time’s up.”
Finally, Dee is just called an ugly woman. Maybe she wears a wig. Dennis isn’t sure. Regardless, her “Time’s up.”
Now for Dennis. Ugliness is fine so long as you’re not sloppy. Dennis claims to be neither. While his looks are debatable at this point in the show, he is anything but sloppy. He reveals that the one thing he has used to cover up his sexual exploits are fake messages. He would use the girl’s phones to send messages of “consent and enjoyment” to himself in case anyone wanted to try to report him. We’ve known it all along, but this man is SICK! Dennis reveals the final twist of the episode now. He instructs everyone to get good at this or people may start investigating him. That’s right, the sneaky low-life created the “Unsafe Bar for Women List” himself in order to get all the scum together and teach them how not to get caught. After seeing how hideous Dennis is, everyone else vows to clean up their act…
Eventually.
Conclusion
Dennis is a monster! There is no debating that now. For the past twelve seasons we have been hinted at. Now there is no denying that this man is some kind of psychopathic nymphomaniac who collects sexual trophies. He is the root of all of The Gang’s mental ticks and is slowly dragging them further down. Before he took over the seminar, there were some great messages to come from it. It seems that once again the writing department did their research on these kinds of courses. Each character had their individual views challenged. What’s more entertaining than that.
Contemporary material with a consistent sense of tension. Best Philly episode to date 10/10.
