“At the crux of it, everyone wants the world to see them as they are. The truth isn’t the problem. The problem is that the world doesn’t always make the truth safe for us to share.”
If This Gets Out follows the popular boyband Saturday that’s growing ever more popular. But while the four members look like the perfect teen heartbreaks in front of the cameras, cracks are starting to form backstage. As the pressure of being famous intensifies and their schedules become more gruelling, they start to feel smothered. As they tour Europe, Zach and Ruben grow closer and eventually their friendship turns into something more. But when they decide to come out to the world and their management denies their request, they start to wonder just how much longer they’ll have to hide their true selves to toe the line. How can they hold on to each other when they’re not allowed to hold each other in public at all?
I am always equal parts exhilarated and terrified when I hear about two authors collaborating on a book with such a fantastic premise and I can confidently tell you, Gonzales and Dietrich’s did not disappoint with If This Gets Out.
I really enjoyed both protagonists. Ruben’s struggles of being forced to stay in the closet, always having to compromise, to toe the line made my heart ache for him. There’s a lot going on with Ruben behind the scenes and I loved that we got a glimpse of just how isolated he is even though he’s surrounded by people all the time. Zach, too, was on a whole new level of relatability. Honestly, it gets quite frustrating at times reading about Zach and Ruben’s struggle to be themselves while kept under the thumb of their management—but imagine how frustrating it must be for the characters if you’re frustrated just reading about it—and it’s hard to realise how much Zach has been influenced to be compliant, to not make any fuss, to not do anything that could possibly, in any sort of way, inconvenience anyone else. Fellow people-pleasers (please tell me I’m not alone) will feel as much hurt and frustration and fear as Zach does and, eventually, cheer for Zach as he learns to take up space in a world that has told him he shouldn’t.
While I would have wished for a bit more background info on the band’s early days and perhaps more scenes establishing the relationship between everyone, I think it’s easy to fall head over heels for Saturday. Though Angel and Jon aren’t the focus of this book, they get their own story arcs that add to the overall compelling read that If This Gets Out is. Through their struggles, we also get to see more about individuality and how it is compromised in the entertainment industry in order for them to be more palatable to the masses, which I was so engrossed by.
Speaking of engrossed, let’s talk about the romance between Zach and Ruben for a hot second. I’m a sucker for friends-to-lovers stories and this book definitely delivered. We get to follow both characters as their feelings change for each other and there are so many tiny moments that speak to this friendship blossoming into more. There’s also an element of questioning your sexuality which I thought was handled very beautifully—the confusion and anxiety paired with the little thrill of realising that there’s something new to explore you might not have picked up on before was super relatable. I also loved how, beyond the external forces keeping Zach and Ruben apart, we have this storyline of the two of them helping each other become more confident in their own choices and ambitions, especially since both characters deal with problematic family situations. Beyond being adorable and enamouring, there is a sense of true support and loyalty underlying their romance which made me root for them all the more.
If This Gets Out is far from solely being a romance book, though. In fact, I was kind of shocked by the amount of serious topics that were packed into this story, but I won’t spoil them all. The one that was most compelling was how it addressed the pressure the band’s management puts on them and the restrictions that come with being in an internationally acclaimed band.
Where Gonzales and Dietrich really excelled, in my opinion, was in showing the disillusionment Zach and Ruben go through. Much of this story focuses on the exploitation of stars in the entertainment industry and it’s such a riveting subject matter. From the outside, being in a boyband sounds like the ultimate dream—fans vying for your attention, platinum records, singing to sold-out stadiums—but there’s a dark underbelly to all that fame. I loved how Ruben and Zach’s respective personalities informed how they reacted to certain decisions Chorus Management made for them. In these moments, you could really tell just how much one of them had been manipulated to submit to their will without much fanfare while the other was just endlessly frustrated with being used like a puppet and incapable of changing it without risking everything. Everyone in the band plays the ‘game’ because they have to, but the repercussions this has for their identity, their sense of self-worth and the way they interact with each other is portrayed in the most compelling manner.
While I won’t spoil the ending, I do want to point out that it’s as empowering as it is enlightening. The boys get support from an (at least to me) unexpected source late in the game and while I wished that they would have had some female support—or really any female character who isn’t out to get them—earlier in the novel, I do think the last few chapters will feel healing to readers who’ve always wanted to take a stand despite the world telling them they couldn’t. Though the ending is satisfying, I would have no problem (wink wink) with Gonzales and Dietrich returning to these boys for another novel or two (read: please just give me a full-length novel about Jon and Angel).
A riveting tale about what goes on behind the scenes of a popular boyband and detailing the pressures queer, marginalised artists face in the entertainment industry, If This Gets Out is the perfect read for anyone who loves music, friends-to-lovers romances or ever secretly shipped members of a band!
If This Gets Out is available from Amazon, Book Depository, and other good book retailers, like your local bookstore, as of December 7th 2021.
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Synopsis | Goodreads
Eighteen-year-olds Ruben Montez and Zach Knight are two members of the boy-band Saturday, one of the biggest acts in America. Along with their bandmates, Angel Phan and Jon Braxton, the four are teen heartbreakers in front of the cameras and best friends backstage. But privately, cracks are starting to form: their once-easy rapport is straining under the pressures of fame, and Ruben confides in Zach that he’s feeling smothered by management’s pressure to stay in the closet.
On a whirlwind tour through Europe, with both an unrelenting schedule and minimal supervision, Ruben and Zach come to rely on each other more and more, and their already close friendship evolves into a romance. But when they decide they’re ready to tell their fans and live freely, Zach and Ruben start to truly realize that they will never have the support of their management. How can they hold tight to each other when the whole world seems to want to come between them?
