Luca has always known he’s destined to audition for the Australian Ballet School. Laser-focused on this future, he’s determined to make his dreams of being a professional ballet dancer true. But when one wrong step shatters his foot—and dreams—Luca suddenly finds himself faced with an entirely different future—one without dancing. Losing his dance scholarship and being forced to go to another school after one of the most traumatic experiences of his life doesn’t make any of it better. But Jordan Tanaka-Jones, the captain of his new school’s rowing team might just do the trick…
We’ve all read or heard stories like these before: someone’s dreams getting smashed to pieces and having to rebuilt their entire life because something didn’t work out the way they wanted it to. But to have to start over from scratch when you’re that young? When all you’ve ever known is one thing? Yeah, that’s an entirely different monster to slay.
Anything But Fine is an extremely captivating read and most of that comes down to Luca being an incredibly realistic character. From the moment Luca returns from the hospital with a leg cast, we get to see him spiral as he questions who he is without ballet. What do you do when the one thing that was your entire life is now taken away from you? Well, Luca doesn’t know. It’s extremely captivating watching someone question everything and, somehow, make it through this kind of crisis.
I loved how Madden didn’t cut any corners here—we get to see Luca fall apart and everything that comes with seemingly losing everything you thought you had: Luca lashes out at people close to him—especially his dad— and isolates himself from his former besties because he can’t fathom being around them now that he’s not really one of them anymore. Luca is annoyed, angry, conflicted, and above all, miserable. And to read about him trying to find his way out of this hole of depression that keeps dragging him back in is so cathartic. There is no end-all-be-all solution, there isn’t a quick fix for Luca and the setbacks that occur are what makes the story work so well. Quite like Luca, the reader has to fight through messy decisions and mistakes and fights and drama to arrive at a future that might not quite be what Luca envisioned but nonetheless worth pursuing.
As a result of this transformation, Luca also learns to look outside himself—he’s been cocooned in this world of dance and drama, and as he encounters new friends and foes, he also learns just how sheltered he has been in some ways.
One of his ways of coping with his dreams being shattered is hyperfocusing on something—or someone—else. His crush on Jordan, his new school’s rowing team captain and seemingly straight hottie. Now, full disclosure, I wasn’t really onboard with the romance in Anything But Fine. I mean, I adored Luca and could see why he was so enamoured with Jordan and why he gave so much of himself to Jordan who’s grappling with his sexuality and wants to stay hidden while he figures it all out. And there are sweet moments between them, no doubt about it. But there were just a few too many moments for me that made me more wary than sympathetic when it came to Jordan. While I think Madden did a great job showing the stress and anxiety that come with being in the closet, I had a hard time forgiving Jordan for some of the heinous things he says to Luca —admittedly, in the heat of the moment—without ever really addressing it. I get that both Luca and Jordan are under immense pressure, but here I would have wished for a bit more acknowledgment of the wrongfulness of these interactions than just glossing over them.
Speaking of relationships, though, let me tell you about one of the best fictional characters in existence: Luca’s new best friend Amina. Amina is the type of friend you want to have in your corner—she’s steadfast, loyal, smart as a whip, and above all, incredibly kind. She’s also Indonesian and Muslim and while Luca doesn’t really understand how much that impacts how people interact with her, he learns just how cruel the world can be to people of colour—and while it takes him a while (growth, people) to work it all out, he nevertheless stands by Amina and defends her against anyone who would come for her. Honestly, every Amina-Luca interaction was perfection.
Also, this book has a lot of drama—but in a good, Gossip Girl sort of way. With ex-ballet dancers, your run-of-the-mill idiotic bullies and a ton of existential angst, the stakes are high for Luca at his new school. Even his relationship with his father—who’s so supportive—made me emotional because you can see all these people trying to help Luca while he’s going through the ringer but in the end, it’s really up to him to can make this new reality work.
If you’re looking for a fluffy contemporary, this might not be the right fit for you. But if you want to read about a phoenix rising from the ashes, about someone who has everything stripped away from him and slowly rebuilds his life and finds new ways, people and activities to find joy in again, then I wholeheartedly hope you pick this book up.
Tender, messy and ultimately cathartic, Madden’s debut Anything But Fine masterfully tells the tale of what it means to start over and reclaim your identity after losing everything you thought you were going to be. A heartfelt coming-of-age story with bitchy ballet dancers, crushed dreams and a dash of falling in love.
Anything But Fine is available from Amazon, Book Depository, and other good book retailers, like your local bookstore, as of March 15th 2022.
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Synopsis | Goodreads
Luca is ready to audition for the Australian Ballet School. All it takes to crush his dreams is one missed step . . . and a broken foot.
Jordan is the gorgeous rowing star and school captain of Luca’s new school. Everyone says he’s straight – but Luca’s not so sure . . .
As their unlikely bond grows stronger, Luca starts to wonder: who is he without ballet? And is he setting himself up for another heartbreak?
