Beneath the glitter of 1930s Hollywood, dangerous secrets connect two generations of women in this atmospheric dual-timeline mystery about identity, sacrifice, and survival.
Intrigued? Well read on to discover the synopsis and an excerpt from Nekesa Afia’s As Long As You’re Mine, which is out now.
Professional ballerina Thea Ross’s world shatters when her screen-legend father commits suicide, leaving behind a shocking confession to a decades-old murder. Determined to uncover the truth, Thea teams up with a relentless journalist, following a trail of clues that leads her back to the glittering yet treacherous world of 1930s Hollywood.
There, she discovers the story of Lorelei Davies, a struggling actress willing to endure anything for her family’s sake. As Thea peels back the layers of Lorelei’s life—her dreams, fears, and dangerous secrets—the connection between Lorelei’s past and Thea’s present challenges everything she believes about her family history. But as she untangles all the lies, she comes to know herself more truly than ever before.
As Thea navigates the glamorous facade of Old Hollywood, she must decide whether uncovering the truth about her father is worth sacrificing the life she planned—and whether some secrets are better left buried in Hollywood’s golden age.
EXCERPT
1934
The song is cloying enough to get stuck in my head. I learned it three months ago, and ever since, it’s been on a dull repeat. I sing it while getting ready. I sing it on the drive to Sunset Studios. I sing it in the makeup chair, as my hair is set, as I’m put into costumes.
It’s always in my head until right now. The words won’t come. All of them are piled up at the back of my throat. I’m unsure which one is supposed to come first. Now that I’m on set, lights on me, makeup caked over my face, I cannot remember the lyrics.
Kenneth Webster has risen from his director’s chair, his wide, flat hands waving in the air. Everything he does is punctuated by a gesture. “Can we do this scene again? And can our star please keep it together? We’re wasting time and money today.” Kenneth is in a mood. He’s glaring at me. I’ve been on set since two in the morning. Some of that time was in hair and makeup; more of it was in costumes. But the majority of it has been spent running the same scene over and over again, trying to live up to Kenneth’s exacting standards.
I place my hands on my waist, feeling beads of sweat bloom under the stage lights. A flurry of activity happens around me; a woman brushes makeup on while another adjusts the skirt of my dress. The girls behind me, a flock of colored dresses that look muted against mine, prepare to restart the scene.
This is a big deal for me. Everyone on set knows that. Every time we finish, Kenneth finds something wrong. I’m sure my feet are bleeding, but that’s something to worry about later.
“Reset,” Kenneth says. This is my sixth film with him, but it’s the first one I’m starring in. I understand the risk he’s taken for me. Risks. Plural. “Action!”
He sits back down. My flock of girls lines up behind me, and we do it again.
Ramona Penderghast stands right next to me in a brilliant blue dress that contrasts with my red. The colors don’t matter. The film will be in black and white. Ramona smiles at me, part encouraging, part threatening. The flock of girls dances behind me. All our moves choreographed to perfection.
I need to convince the audience that I’m a woman worthy of love. Sunset Studio’s pictures are all the same. Girl meets boy, boy meets girl, and, through a number of lengthy and complicated dance numbers, boy and girl fall in love.
It’s a successful formula.
“Cut,” Kenneth yells. We hold in place at the end of the number. He rises from his chair again, takes one long look at us. “Print. Moving on.”
Relief.
He turns away from us. Characters are broken; background girls go back to talking about what they’re going to do when they’re done for the day.
“Good work, kid.” Ramona remains by my side. She’s maybe my only friend at Sunset, and that’s saying a lot. We started at the same time, in the same acting and voice and etiquette classes.
“You think?”
“Stop being so modest.” She’s every bit the vixen. Her dark hair falls into her emerald eyes; her voice is low and throaty. She’s the perfect 36-24-36 hourglass, measurements I have to constantly work to achieve.
And yet I’m starring in this flick, while she plays the best friend.
“Thanks.” I smile.
Ramona blinks her big green eyes. “Why don’t we change and go to lunch?”
“Would love to but can’t. I need to go run my lines. Next scene,” I say, trying to look apologetic.
Ramona slinks off, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
It’s true I want to get off my feet, but I have something else.
Something better than Ramona Penderghast.
He’s waiting for me when I open the door to my dressing room. I’ve just been moved to Star Row, where all the big Sunset stars have dressing rooms. I’m aware that I have the smallest one. I’m just happy to be here.
I flick on the radio and turn on the lights to find Tommy Ross sitting on my couch. “You’re early,” I say. He laughs. I kiss him and then disappear behind my screen to change.
“Did old Kenneth keep you?” Tommy asks. “You Do Something to Me” is playing on the radio. I can hear him humming along.
“Ran it twenty times.” I slide on my dressing gown and reappear from behind the screen.
“Well, you were wonderful every time.” Tommy wraps an arm around me as I settle in next to him. I’m exhausted. I close my eyes.
“You were watching?” I ask.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I? Maybe I wanted to hear you say you loved me over and over.”
“Ha.”
He kisses me before I can say anything else, and I melt into him. This, right now, makes all those hours under the hot lights worth it. He pulls me onto his lap.
“Those are just lyrics, you know,” I say with my lips against his.
“Are you saying you don’t love me?”
“I’m saying we have to work some things out.”
I can smell him; our heat collides as he slides a hand up my bare thigh. His fingertips make ripples on my skin as he touches me. His kiss is disorienting, throwing me off kilter when his lips meet mine.
Tommy and I met on my first Sunset film. He played the lead, and I was a featured dancer.
And now, we’re doing this.
He’s my costar now. I know he’s married. I’ve never overstepped boundaries like this before. I’ve met his wife twice at parties, a stunning thing. Mrs. Ross is cold, reserved.
Being this close to Tommy distorts my thoughts. I meant to tell him here and now that we can’t continue doing this, but when his tongue parts my lips, I lose all sense.
And I don’t ask him to stop, because I don’t want him to.
